Growing, always Growing.

The Second Cost Rican sunset I've seen since I've been here, due to all of the rain. The picture doesn't do the beauty justice.

“Often, it’s not about becoming a new person, but becoming the person you were meant to be, and already are, but don’t know how to be.” - Heath L. Buckmaster

I am growing.

I am growing into the culture, into a teacher, into bilingualism, into myself.

A significant part of growing into myself means forgetting who I am. I know that doesn't make any sense. I'm not sure I really understand it, either.

Let me try to explain:

How do we always define ourselves? Hola, me llamo Kayla/Hello, I'm Kayla. Soy de los estados unidos/I'm from the United States. Yo estudio Ingles, y quiero ensenar Colegio/I study English, and hope to teach High School. Si, tengo tres hermanos/Yes, I have three siblings. Tengo diecinueve anos/I am 19 years old.

This is pretty standard. I have recited this introduction countless times. However, I am no longer in the US. I am not currently studying English. I am no longer with my family. I turn 20 on Friday.

The only thing that never changes is my name, and here, even that is different! Everyone pronounces it 'Kyla'.

Everything that I have ever defined myself by is no longer my constant. What is my constant, then? What is unchanging about me? Who am I?

Because I have been thrust into a new place, I have had to re-evaluate who I am and who I want to become. 

Why am I even on a Mission?

I am not only growing in myself; I am growing in Faith. I am growing in Christ.

First and foremost, that is all I am. I am empty. I am open and ready for Him to fill me; to use me.

I have already seen Him at work.

A quick story to elaborate: 

Krystal and I were hungry for something other than rice and beans, so we walked down the street to one of the little Pulperia's. As we were walking, I smiled and greeted the people that we passed.  As we walked by a restaurant, I gave the woman sitting outside the same greeting as all the rest: "Buenas!"

"Y a usted! Oh, tus botas, que linda! Fue un buen idea!" Or, "And to you! Oh, your (rain) boots, how cute! That was a good idea!"

Krystal and I paused, and I thanked her for her compliment. She asked if I was a student, and I explained that no, I was a volunteer teacher at the Adventist school. She paused, looked closer at my face, and burst out laughing.  I didn't know how to respond to that, so I laughed nervously along with her, waiting for her to explain. She finally did, and translated, she said:

"Oh my goodness, Maria had shown me a picture of you from her cell phone! She was saying that you, the new volunteer, was so beautiful, and kind, and loving. I'm so happy to have met you! She was right!"

Maria is the name of the woman who prepares our breakfast and our lunch. She is one of the hardest working women I have ever met. She has four jobs, walks everywhere in Monteverde (which - Trust me - is impressive. These streets are worse than San Fran!) and does everything to put her two daughters into private school. It turns out that the little restaurant we had stopped at was one of her other jobs.

I almost felt like crying, I was so shocked and happy. I honestly couldn't think of anything remarkable I had ever said or done for Maria - I just talked with her, thanked her for my food, kissed her cheek in greeting - and here, she had spoken of ME in such a positive way.  I thanked the woman, and we continued walking.

God has already used me. I could not have done that on my own.

So, I have decided to start defining myself by the one thing that never changes:

I am Kayla. I am a child of God.

Soy Kayla(Kyla), y soy una nina de Jesus.

Pura Vida. <3